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Groomzilla
By Val Porter
WDVE

There has been a strange phenomenon over the past couple of years in the world of wedding planning. Traditionally, or stereotypically, the bride is the one who freaks out over details and colors and themes and a list of other things brides hope for or demand when planning her wedding. But recently, it's the groom who is taking a much more fervent interest in the planning. Hence the term groomzilla. What is this strange creature?

Like some type of alien, it lurks in its male host only to emerge when discussions include engagement rings, bridal magazines and honeymoons. Unlike Sasquatch, UFOs, or the Loch Ness Monster, there IS proof that groomzillas exist. (Let's not get into a discussion about whether or not there is proof that Bigfoot, UFOs or Nessie exist. That's for another column.) I've seen proof. And I've heard about them from friends and family members who have fallen victim to groomzilla.

Make no mistake, my husband was not infected with groomzilla spores. No, he was the typical groom. There were times I had to plead with him to have an opinion on something, anything. After all, as I told him, it was his wedding too. He thought I was stupid enough to believe him when he said that the day is really about the bride. At that point, I accepted that I wasn't really going to get much out of him in the planning department. So I just made him carry heavy stuff.

There is no mistaking a groomzilla when you've spotted or dealt with one. One specimen sent pages of emails with requests-ahem, demands-of the bridal party. The requests ranged from how much time he expected them to spend together leading up to the wedding, to changing his mind about the bachelor party at least a dozen times, to making several conflicting requests about facial hair, to being upset that guests were not spending the wedding night at the hotel where the reception was held.

I've heard worse. Groomzillas have been observed obsessing over save-the-date card designs. There have been reports that they've been spotted in shouting matches with wedding coordinators over shades of white. And how many unsuspecting wedding DJs have come under fire for not having the correct version of a song the couple wanted to be played at the reception.

The moody, demanding, vein-popping groomzilla may be worse than a bridezilla. See, everyone expects the bride to get a little wigged out while planning. It's understandable if she's emotional. It's an event filled with emotions. But when it comes from the man of the house, it's somewhat stunning. That's why I choose to believe that the groomzilla does not really want to be a sideshow freak. He just can't help it. The only explanation I have is that it's kind of like an invasion of the body snatchers, a plague that infests the male of the species, an alien has taken over the body. So as a woman I ask future grooms to resist. Fight off the infestation. It's okay to be the guy who just says it really is all about the bride.