George Carlin
Remembered

Comedic genius George Carlin passed away last month at the age of 71 (he always said he wanted his epitaph to read "Jeez, he was just here a minute ago). While perhaps most celebrated-and sometimes reviled-for his infamous "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine, Carlin knew sports as well. One of his classic bits compared the war-like mentality of football with the more innocent image of baseball…

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Football players wear a helmet...
Baseball players wear a cap.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - we might even have extra innings!
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to SUDDEN DEATH.

Even the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!

For a copy of Carlin's the entire baseball/football bit, email PSR's Tony DeFazio at tdefazio (at) psrpt.com.