"Subject: Pittsburgh Penguins"

To: petr.bukoc@veleslavinova.6.301.14.plzen

From: martin.straka@tough.luck

Dear Petr,

Holiday greetings to you and your family. More than a few times this summer I thought how nice it would be to visit with my old classmate, but getting around even a small city like Plzen can be difficult in a back brace. I hope everything is well with you.

This past year was a very painful one for me and my hockey team, although we have grown from the experience and look forward to a better year in 2003. I really can’t wait to rip take down my calendar at midnight on New Year’s Eve as I anticipate burning it better things in the coming months.

I believe my letter to you last Christmas provided the bad news about my broken leg and all the injuries my team endured. None of us could believe our lousy stinking luck thought it could get worse, but life is full of surprises, isn’t it?

In January, Aleksey Morozov hurt his shoulder, Wayne Primeau blew out his knee, Stephane Richer hurt his neck again, Hans Jonsson broke his finger and Robert Lang had to have some serious dental work done. Now he’s really rich.

By the way, I understand you have in recent years taken an interest in the occult and have placed quite a collection of voodoo dolls in the window of your family’s store on Prazska Street. I had hoped to see it this summer.

And, of course, Mario missed many, many games because of a bad hip. You can imagine what happened. We lost more games than usual, and our fans sometimes stayed home unless the team was giving out bobblehead dolls, although when they give out my bobblehead doll this month some reporters are joking that the head will fall off. Over here, everyone thinks he’s a comedian tries to see the humor in life.

I returned to the lineup on 27 February only to have my orbital bone broken by the stick of my teammate Johan Hedberg. That hurt. Josef Melichar injured his shoulder and we kept losing. Our power play was bad. We had to use many young players who were still learning the game. On 7 March I tried to come back one more time, but my leg hurt again and I just about freaked decided to call it a season.

You know, I was quite interested to learn from a friend that one of your voodoo dolls was wearing a Penguins jersey with number 82 on it. Lang thought that was very funny because I had told him that old story about the time I replaced you as captain of our grade school team and how angry you got. Lang wasn’t laughing when he broke his hand in March, however.

Our team acquired some older players to help, but we still missed the playoffs for the first time in 12 years. Our boss Craig wasn’t happy at all when we didn’t win any of our last 10 games. I left Pittsburgh determined to come back strong and help my team back to the playoffs. Then I had a weightlifting accident in July and I began to think about selling insurance hurt my back.

Craig continued to add some more experienced players to our team during the off-season, like Marc Bergevin, Steve McKenna, Alexandre Daigle and Dick Tarnstrom, and Mario came back in great shape and began this season looking like his old self. I finally got back to the lineup on 6 November, and I had four points in the first three games and felt really, really good. The team is winning, and we are very excited about what we can do in 2003.

Listen, if you still have that doll, would it be possible to send it to me here in America? If it’s for sale, I’ll pay you a fair price, say up to $1 million. And the next time I’m back home, let’s meet at the Prazdroj Brewery and drop the gloves knock down a cold one.

Sincerely,

Marty

P.S. Please mark the package "Handle With Care."